morbid curiosity

Last week I saw the saddest thing, and I'm going to write about it even though it's a little gross, so skip ahead if you would like...

I was leaving my apartment last week and on the sidewalk leading to the parking lot there are always leaves and such on the pavement. I happened to be watching my feet (a habit I wish I could break--wouldn't you rather look the world in the face as you walk instead of studying the ground?) and noticed some weird little grayish-brown blobs on the sidewalk. I of course wanted to know what they were. (I was a little afraid it was dog poop.) On closer inspection I found that they were little, featherless, baby birds. Dead on the sidewalk. They hadn't been eaten by any animals. They must have just fallen out of their nest prematurely and been left by the parent birds (because really, how is a bird going to put its baby back in the nest?).

I can't explain why, but it was just so sad to me to see these little completely helpless denuded little bodies, probably about the size of a half-dollar, with beaks and wings and little feet (yes, I studied them fairly closely with a sense of morbidity and curiosity). I've been trying to think of some metaphor to relate this experience to something in my life, but I can't, and believe me, I've been processing this since last week.

It's strange what things stick in our minds...

All I can think about is those little birds that never even had a chance. And that probably no one else even noticed they were there.