2008

To encapsulate a year in one blog post seems mightily overwhelming, but as an exercise in brevity, here it goes. My "top ten list" of lessons learned in 2008:

10. I am less adaptable to change than I like to think.

9. Life is a constant lesson in humility.

8. My calling in life is NOT to work with elementary school children. This knowledge increases my level of respect for elementary school teachers.

7. My identity is so much more than just what I do for a living. A crucial point to remember in upcoming years.

6. My tolerance level for ignorance and stupidity is very low.

5. Good and loyal friends are worth their weight in gold...and if I could, I would share that gold with all of them. Assuming that I either won the lottery or became a leprechaun, of course.

4. Sometimes decisions must be made that you don't want to make, because neither outcome seems appealing. And in the end, even though you chose the best solution, you may not be happy. But sometimes it's not about you.

3. Family is one of the most powerful forces in existence...through thick and thin they are still your family. No matter what. Forever. And ever...

2. There is a very good reason to only get married one time: weddings. The light at the end of the tunnel is marriage...which is the greatest and most rewarding challenge I have ever undertaken.

1. Life swirls and changes around us every second of every day, and its unpredictability is part of the excitement and terror of living. It means that above all, I am not in control. I will be learning this lesson every day of the rest of my life.

the age of innocence

Thanks to the snow day today (which I feel was somewhat unnecessary), yesterday was my last day at work. Because of changing schedules and financial situations, I won't be returning to my job with the YMCA after Christmas break.

So I've been reviewing what I've learned this past semester in the presence of these kids. The conclusion I have come to is that the age of innocence no longer truly exists in this selfish, chaos-ridden, morally declining world. I realize that I grew up in a state of relative naivete, not knowing or caring about "adult" topics, like swearing or using the middle finger or liking the opposite sex or watching movies with anything other than a PG rating. I led a sheltered childhood, protected from the world of divorce, abuse, homosexuality, drinking, drugs, and any other toxins that may have invaded my young, impressionable soul.

But the kids in my program weren't so lucky. I had a 5-year-old get a detention for saying the F word in his classroom. I had a first grader tell me she had to go to court and pick which of her parents she loved more to decide who to live with. She told me she was going to pick her mom because her mom loved her more; when I asked her if she loved her dad, she said, "No, because he doesn't really want to be a dad." Almost half of the kids were from divorced families, with step-brothers and sisters coming out the wazzoo. I had an 8-year-old ask me if I had seen the movie The Day After Tomorrow, assuring me that it wasn't scary; he would know, he watched it. I had a 7-year-old get an iPod with the new Indiana Jones movie installed on it for his birthday. I had an 8-year-old who couldn't read, spell, or do math problems; who bit my assistant's arm; who hurt other kids; who couldn't control his anger; who was really only looking for some positive attention most of the time. Virtually none of my kids knew how to respect an adult or listen when another person was talking.

I really and truly fear that we are entering a state where morals and values are going to change significantly; that right and wrong are going to become more black and white, and therefore more controversial. Perhaps my standards are set too high; perhaps I have unrealistic expectations of childhood based on my own experiences; perhaps the world is going to hell in a handbasket. I do think there is hope for all of our kids, but this society, this generation is making it hard to find amid the vulgarity and outright meanness running rampant in schools today. I don't want to shield my kids from the world, but I want them to know what certain words mean: respect, honor, boundaries. I want them to be safe and happy and somewhat ignorant of the underside of humanity, at least for a little while.

Don't kids deserve to have an age of innocence?

a rant

OK, I just need to rant for a few minutes here.

With the Christmas season in full swing, the kids at my school have been discussing their anticipated gifts, and although the majority of my particular group is in grades 2-4, they were almost all talking about getting CELL PHONES for Christmas.

If you can't tell by the capitalization in the previous sentence, I find this ridiculous. Why on earth does an eight-year-old need a CELL PHONE? As if your parent doesn't know where you are and when you need to be elsewhere. As if you do anything when you're eight that requires you to have a cell phone. It makes me sick. These kids have things like iPods and PSPs, and as if that isn't already an excessive amount of expensive technology, they think they need cell phones too.

I'm sure that my thoughts and emotions about parenting will change once I actually become one, but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to buy my eight-year-old a cell phone. But who knows what else it will be? In the (approximately) 10-15 years before I actually have an eight-year-old, the world might just go technologically insane.

OK, and now I must remember that these are not my children and I don't have to live with them.

The most ironic part of the title of this post is that my new cell phone is called the Rant.