on becoming family

Being family is a tricky thing. I am learning the differences between being family and becoming family--holidays have a way of congregating everyone together. Christmas this year was the first of many spent with both families...and it was chaotic and fun and crazy and exhausting.

My family is...my family. I have been around them for 25 years, so of course I have acclimated to their quirks. Bringing Lucas into the family atmosphere for Christmas heightened my awareness of those quirks, and the traditions that we have that are normal to me but probably seemed a little weird to him--

Like the fact that my Grandpa always gets all the kids the same thing, so once one of us opens our Grandpa gift, we all know what we're getting. Every year we get a calendar of varying themes--kittens, puppies, cows, pigs, etc. And something quirky. This year's random gift--a box of Cheezits. And various snacks. He thinks it's really funny, and by now it's a tradition...you always get a random/slightly odd gift from Grandpa.

Or the fact that my aunt usually gives us all an article of clothing that is never quite what you expect (although she has gotten much better since her children have become trendy)...like toe socks, or sweaters that don't quite fit.

And then my mom goes all out with stockings--every practical hygiene item you could need is wrapped individually so it looks more exciting. I never buy a toothbrush or toothpaste in the month of December, because I know that it will be in my stocking, along with a stick of gel deodorant, which I have told my mother that I don't wear but she insists on putting in my stocking anyway.

And then we have a turkey dinner and play games, and usually someone gets offended or mad at some point and there is an argument, but we resolve it quickly with more snacks or desserts or something, and my uncle lies on the couch reading National Geographic while the rest of us play Apples to Apples. He will get up if we play a Scrabble-related game, if my aunt doesn't play. My cousin Matt will be easily entertained by a new game--this year, it was a coffee mug--or by texting his friends from school, invariably girls.

So this year we packed all that in....plus a trip to Wisconsin with the Motleys. The Motleys go away for Christmas and stay in a hotel, which was not the most appealing thing I could imagine for Christmas because of the aforementioned things my family does. But it wasn't that much different--gifts, games, food, movies...with a waterpark thrown in and lots of Veggie Tales for the baby.

It's still weird to think about the Motleys as my family...because they aren't. They are becoming my family. Family is one of those tricky words that can cause confusion and anxiety, but also can be one of the most comforting and supporting places on earth. It's not a choice, family, it just exists. And when it functions, the holidays are absolutely worth all the chaos.

i wish....

I wish there was a clear-cut road for life. A nice paved one, with painted lines and exit signs and turn lanes and stoplights. And maybe the occasional dirt road for people who feel adventurous. It would be so helpful.

But I know it doesn't work that way. I just wish it could sometimes. The next year is going to be insane. I guess I'm just trying to gear up for it.

we were made for each other

No, I'm not going to write a mushy post about my new fiance. (That word is so weird!!) The title does not refer to our relationship...per se.

It refers to the fact that I am becoming increasingly aware of the fact that we are created to live in community. Life was not meant to be lived in a vacuum. It was meant to be shared in all its glory--including the ups and downs, the smiles and laughs, tears and fights and all that makes up a life.

I think I've known this for a while, but I was reminded again of how great community is by two things that happened recently. On Friday night we did our annual Christmas decorating at Montgomery campus. If you've never experienced Montgomery campus in December, you really should. It is very magical. I half expect little elves to come out of the cracks and crevices.

There were the most people I think we have ever had to help decorate this year, and of course the decorations were even more extravagant than usual--every year we get bigger and better, which means that every year we can say it was the best one ever. But it was so much fun to walk in to the building after work on Friday and feel like I had come home to a bunch of family decorating the house for the holidays. I can't explain why, but recently something has shifted within me and I have begun to really feel like my church family really is family. We had a ton of fun decorating, eating pizza, and just hanging out together on Friday. It was much less stressful than an actual family event!

And then on Monday (which should be recorded as one of the most magical days of my life to date thanks to one Lucas Motley) I was reminded again that people want to share things with each other. They really do, whether they admit it or not. Because Lucas proposed to me in the middle of the skating rink at Millennium Park, and when he stood up, we hugged each other and the whole crowd at the skating rink started cheering. And as we skated off the ice, people passing us wished us many congratulations, and you could tell that even though we were strangers there was something exciting about sharing that moment with us.

And oddly enough, we talked about community this morning as we looked over the Big Idea guide for January. It seems I can't escape the force of community. Even though I convince myself sometimes that I am fully capable of doing life on my own, it's not true. It's a lie that we can be self-reliant. We need community in order to be happy. In order to share our happiness. In order to get through this thing called life. We were made for each other.

You know it's a good date when...

...at the end of the night you're engaged.

It was a great date last night. :o)