on becoming family

Being family is a tricky thing. I am learning the differences between being family and becoming family--holidays have a way of congregating everyone together. Christmas this year was the first of many spent with both families...and it was chaotic and fun and crazy and exhausting.

My family is...my family. I have been around them for 25 years, so of course I have acclimated to their quirks. Bringing Lucas into the family atmosphere for Christmas heightened my awareness of those quirks, and the traditions that we have that are normal to me but probably seemed a little weird to him--

Like the fact that my Grandpa always gets all the kids the same thing, so once one of us opens our Grandpa gift, we all know what we're getting. Every year we get a calendar of varying themes--kittens, puppies, cows, pigs, etc. And something quirky. This year's random gift--a box of Cheezits. And various snacks. He thinks it's really funny, and by now it's a tradition...you always get a random/slightly odd gift from Grandpa.

Or the fact that my aunt usually gives us all an article of clothing that is never quite what you expect (although she has gotten much better since her children have become trendy)...like toe socks, or sweaters that don't quite fit.

And then my mom goes all out with stockings--every practical hygiene item you could need is wrapped individually so it looks more exciting. I never buy a toothbrush or toothpaste in the month of December, because I know that it will be in my stocking, along with a stick of gel deodorant, which I have told my mother that I don't wear but she insists on putting in my stocking anyway.

And then we have a turkey dinner and play games, and usually someone gets offended or mad at some point and there is an argument, but we resolve it quickly with more snacks or desserts or something, and my uncle lies on the couch reading National Geographic while the rest of us play Apples to Apples. He will get up if we play a Scrabble-related game, if my aunt doesn't play. My cousin Matt will be easily entertained by a new game--this year, it was a coffee mug--or by texting his friends from school, invariably girls.

So this year we packed all that in....plus a trip to Wisconsin with the Motleys. The Motleys go away for Christmas and stay in a hotel, which was not the most appealing thing I could imagine for Christmas because of the aforementioned things my family does. But it wasn't that much different--gifts, games, food, movies...with a waterpark thrown in and lots of Veggie Tales for the baby.

It's still weird to think about the Motleys as my family...because they aren't. They are becoming my family. Family is one of those tricky words that can cause confusion and anxiety, but also can be one of the most comforting and supporting places on earth. It's not a choice, family, it just exists. And when it functions, the holidays are absolutely worth all the chaos.