vulnerability

I am currently enrolled in a class called "The Personal Essay." I enrolled for two reasons: it fit in my schedule and I didn't have to drive to Lincoln Park. Plus the title of the class was interesting.

The class entails writing our own personal experiences....and then letting everyone in the class read what we've written and comment on our essays.

I didn't really know what I was getting into when I registered.

For me, blogging is an exercise in vulnerability. And I'm not even that deep in my posts. Writing a personal essay is a lot more intense than blogging...and a lot more personal. And then to open yourself up to twelve other writers for their feedback of your portrayal of your life...it's a bit intimidating, to say the least.

But I must say, I survived. Thus far, at least. We had our first workshop on Monday, and I survived my essay being on the table for all to critique. It was actually a good experience.

Which made me wonder why it is so difficult to be vulnerable. It's easy to share certain life details with certain people, to stay on the surface for the most part, to hole up the major emotional battles going on inside, to keep people at arm's length. Yet vulnerability is strangely liberating if done correctly. Sharing my essay with my class was almost a relief--so much of my life is so personally contained in my brain that very few people get to experience it with me. Plus, how do you get to experience someone's whole life with them? Only when we open up the curtains does the light come in...metaphorically speaking, of course.

And of course, I think it comes more naturally to some people than others. People who can just open up about their whole lives....it amazes me.